ALONG

The way home

:/əˈlɒŋ/

1. System of transport (esp in Nigeria)

You never know how the door is going to open. If your window can even wind down or not. If you’ll get choked by exhaust today or body odor tomorrow. Just be sure you hold your change as you enter (trust me on this one).

Every morning my mother tells me “don’t enter these small small cars oh. Enter ‘sharon’. It’s these small golfs that’ll do you ‘one chance’” Whatever fear she tried to instill in me worked. Because I have refused to test out whether or not the small cars would play with my life.

The drivers are something else. Always speaking fluent “wo kunrin ti ko wulo” and “onye nzuzu”. Ever ready to give out ‘ uwarka’ like free gifts.
And we all know the space isn’t enough for the three of us already sitting at the back plus this big aunty that is asking us to ‘dress well’. But we still move and squeeze because that’s how this works and we don’t want our share of insults.

The other day on a bus, we received a full health lecture only to find out that it was just mad advertising for some bitters that, as you must have guessed by now, cures HIV, malaria, typhoid and all “nyama-nyama diseases dem”, without side effects!

Every ride is an adventure when you join ALONG. You get to know places you’ve never been by the roads you never follow but always pass by and eavesdrop on the funniest gists that weren’t really spoken in hushed tones anyways.
But as crazy and fun as these rides may sound, at the end of the day, you really just want to get off and go home.

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